Thank You Centurion, May I Have Another? (2004)

Created and Written by Spencer Green

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Rating: ******1/2


Summary

Highly controversial, very personal look at Jesus Christ's last twelve hours of hazing during his sophomore year fraternity initiation at college and how he pledged for our sins.

Director

Evan Marvel

Cast

Didja Know?

  • If you watch carefully, you can see director Evan Marvel cleaning up after Jesus is forced to drink twenty Jaegermeisters.
  • This was a surprise worldwide hit, fulfilling a deep, spiritual need for people to see a handsome man endure nonstop tortured.
  • The full extent of the pain Jesus suffered from the hazing depicted in the film includes extreme lacerations, exposed muscles, excessive bleeding, fluids gathered near the pleural sac near the heart and lungs leading to a partially collapsed spine, dehydration, hypovolemic shock, respiratory acidosis, and multiple organ failure. On the bright side, he did get into the fraternity which, of course, was part of God’s master plan.
  • In high school, Jesus gave his longtime rival extreme acne right before the prom.

Famous Quotes

(publicity)

The film the other religions don't want you to see!

Famous Scenes

Caiphas: Maggot, are you the Messiah?

Jesus: Sir, yes I am, sir!

(Slow-motion: frat brothers paddle Jesus with flat boards laced with pieces of indented bronze; close on the bronze as it tears into Jesus’ ass repeatedly for twenty minutes; angle on brothers forcing Jesus to sit on alcohol-soaked chair.)

Caiphas: Scumbag, are you the Son of the living God?

Jesus: Sir, yes I am, sir!

(Frat brothers pour beer through a funnel into Jesus’ mouth; slow-motion as Jesus pukes repeatedly for twenty minutes. He catches his breath, then pukes at regular speed for thirty more minutes.)

Critical Views

“A laugh riot!” – Alberto Gonzales


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